• marissarether


I woke up this morning to the sun beaming across my pale face for the first time in what felt like months. I faintly smiled and thanked mother nature for bringing me the sunshine I had begged for day after day. My tail-wagging bullmastiff rolled over beside me on the bed and I decided that today was going to be great. But then, my unborn baby boy kicked me gently from inside my belly and I was reminded that I am, in fact, pregnant during a pandemic.

While I may not have known “what to expect when expecting,” carrying the weight of a global health crisis was certainly not on my radar. Every day I am faced with new worries and fears. Scared to bring my baby into a quarantined world, that one of us will get sick and compromise the health of our unborn son, that I will have to go through labour alone, or that my child won’t meet his grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins for months on end.

It’s so, so easy to sit here and let my thoughts consume me. But then I remember that I am somebody’s mama now, and he needs me to be strong. So, I put on my big girl panties, turn off the news, and go on about my day. Because my baby boy deserves a mama who is strong, resilient and selfless. And I decide that today, that is exactly who I will be.

Today, I surrender.